As I am reading your paragraphs from the 8 steps of writing process, I am seeing some repeated problems as I move student to student. I am going to place a list here, so you can reference this and pay attention to some issues that may arise in your own writing... You aren't alone ;)
* Oh, and my caps are not yelling.. they are emphasizing ;)
DOs and DON'Ts
1. Do not use 2nd person pronoun YOU... It is very informal!! We will be writing predominately in 3rd person in this class.. and most of your classes! (He, she, it, they, etc. And remember anteceedent usage)
2. Please remember to use transitional words between your sentences. They are to indicate to your reader the RELATIONSHIP between your sentences.. they are not to be dropped in... and I know they are on the list, but we are going to throw out "First, Second, Third" and "In conclusion" and "In summary"
3. When you are including quotes in your writing (which you will be doing A LOT), you must have some of your own words in EACH sentence. You cannot have a quote in a sentence by itself. Use the tag line and/or implement it into your sentence in a grammatically correct manner.
4. When you mention the author in the tag line or the introduction to a quote, you do not need to mention their name in the parenthetical citation.
5. Speaking of parenthetical citation, double check that you are doing yours correctly.. check punctuation, etc.
6. Explain your examples! Don't throw an example out there and expect the reader to make the connection. Explain how it supports your thesis.
7. Don't end your paragraph with someone else's words (a quote); you need to have the last word.
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